Finding a soul mate to spend the rest of our lives with is something we all hope for in our life time. The journey from a casual relationship to marriage takes a whole lot of devotion from both parties. One ingredient is emotional readiness and willingness to say “I DO”.
But is being ready all that’s needed? Nope!
A good marriage isn’t something that happens because you feel ready. The saying that “Rome wasn’t built in a day” perfectly describes the tests that marriages go thorugh. The best advice for a happy marriage is simple – “be patient and forgiving”.
It takes years of commitment, tolerance and devotion to survive the challenges of marriage. During that time, you would have built a long lasting relationship that both parties will enjoy.
When a marriage is good, years roll by without an iota of regret.
So what’s the best advice for a good marriage?
Every marriage is different, and so are the couples involved. There are some common features of a good marriage that are universal. They are a MUST and will help you overcome many of the challenges you will face.
Stuff like respect, patience, tolerance, dedication, commitment and loyalty are necessary for a happy marriage, but the list is endless.
Love speaks different languages. Communication in marriage is dependent on how well a couple understands the emotional needs of each other. For some couples, communicating extensively on issues affecting their marriage and finding ways to deal with them helps a great deal.
Marriage counselling also helps couples find closure and creates an interactive session in understanding what needs to be done. Seeking marital help or advice from an experienced counsellor can give a clearer picture on the issues that you may be going through.
Romantic getaways, dates, unique gifts and beautiful flowers speak volumes when you’re married. Knowing what your partner wants and anticipating their needs is a great advice for a happy marriage.
Loyalty in marriage will go a long way in sustaining any relationship. It will make you faithful, trustworthy, reliable, and steadfast during times of trouble and difficulty. It will strengthen the marital bond.
Here are a few examples of why some marriages fail:
Marriage requires a fair distribution of duties and work in order for it to succeed. Sharing includes being prepared to meet the physical and emotional needs of your spouse.
By placing your needs above that of your partner, you run the risk of leaving them feeling lonely and unloved.
Another type of selfishness in a more disturbing form is jealousy. If not checked, jealousy will lead to possessiveness and sometimes abuse. Selfishness will most times stem from one spouse’s unwillingness to be considerate and respectful of the other.
Lack of communication
For understanding to reign in a marriage, couples must adopt effective communication as a way of resolving issues. Some married people don’t appreciate the opinions of their spouse, especialy when it differs from theirs. While others even use subtle threats and passive-aggressive behavior to influence their spouse. These attitudes will eventually make the other person retaliate in kind or withdraw.
It’s hard to stay in a marriage where you feel that your opinions aren’t being appreciated. But with good communication a lot can be resolved or at least, brought into the open.
Inability to communicate effectively, will lead to a lack of emotional closeness in a marriage. Fear of emotional overtures being turned down or not appreciated leads to loneliness.
Remember the promise you made to each other during your wedding ceremony. You promised to love one another no matter what. A lack of emotional intimacy can slowly destroy a good relationship.
Emotional intimacy blossoms from a feeling of friendship and partnership. These feeling arise from shared interests, empathy and mutual support. When couples lose these feelings, they begin to drift apart.
A lot of marriages fail because of a lack of intimacy. Living like roommates is one of the signs of an unhappy marriage. The expectation of most couples is to have a fulfilling and active sex life and when this dosen’t happen, both husband and wife start to drift apart.
The efforts you put in making your marriage a good one will depend on you and how much you want it to work. After all, it is a lifelong commitment. The best advice for a happy marriage is to ask yourself just one vittal question: do I want this marriage to work?